This ain't 'The Exorcist'
A very brief excerpt from 'Dial-An-Exorcism':
Weeks passed in a blur. It had been a long time since the guys were over, and we looking for something to do that wouldn’t cause public humiliation and extensive repair fees. So I invited them one Sunday afternoon to catch the football game. It was the Browns versus the Colts, and I was rooting for the latter. Of course, Todd and Fred were both die-hard Browns fans, so with Chuck on my side, it was an even two against two battle for the free keg we wagered. And Jamie was a peach, bringing large bowls of chips and Buffalo wings from the kitchen. She also served us Buds and Heinekens while she sipped on Woodchucks. You couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon.
We were having a blast, Colts leading by four, when it happened. First, my linebacker was penalized for a pass interference (that was a bogus call, by the way), and afterwards the Browns kicked a field goal. Fred was jumping excitedly off the couch, and Todd was pumping his fist in the air like a has-been talk show host.
Suddenly, Jamie screamed in that strange multi-man voice, “The Browns SUCK!” And then her head did a complete 360 on her shoulders.
We were all shocked silent. The Browns were gaining yards, but we were gaping at Jamie as she finished her Woodchuck and belched softly. She noticed us staring at her with horrified expressions. “What? You need more wings?” She smiled and sashayed back to the kitchen. We tried to turn our attention back to the game, but we kept watching her from the corners of our eyes. Colts ended up taking it by one, but frankly, we no longer felt much like celebrating.
Weeks passed in a blur. It had been a long time since the guys were over, and we looking for something to do that wouldn’t cause public humiliation and extensive repair fees. So I invited them one Sunday afternoon to catch the football game. It was the Browns versus the Colts, and I was rooting for the latter. Of course, Todd and Fred were both die-hard Browns fans, so with Chuck on my side, it was an even two against two battle for the free keg we wagered. And Jamie was a peach, bringing large bowls of chips and Buffalo wings from the kitchen. She also served us Buds and Heinekens while she sipped on Woodchucks. You couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon.
We were having a blast, Colts leading by four, when it happened. First, my linebacker was penalized for a pass interference (that was a bogus call, by the way), and afterwards the Browns kicked a field goal. Fred was jumping excitedly off the couch, and Todd was pumping his fist in the air like a has-been talk show host.
Suddenly, Jamie screamed in that strange multi-man voice, “The Browns SUCK!” And then her head did a complete 360 on her shoulders.
We were all shocked silent. The Browns were gaining yards, but we were gaping at Jamie as she finished her Woodchuck and belched softly. She noticed us staring at her with horrified expressions. “What? You need more wings?” She smiled and sashayed back to the kitchen. We tried to turn our attention back to the game, but we kept watching her from the corners of our eyes. Colts ended up taking it by one, but frankly, we no longer felt much like celebrating.
Comment
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Comment by Jezzy Wolfe on December 30, 2007 at 10:09am - I would hug youses, but I've learned by experience that my moniter digs into the most uncomfortable places... *sniffsniff*
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Comment by Jim Kelley on December 30, 2007 at 6:54am - One of my favs as well.
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Comment by Greg Hall on December 30, 2007 at 6:36am - This is one of my favorite stories of all time. Nose bleeds and zombie herpes to whatever mag/press is foolish enough to let this one get away!
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